Bad light karma

My family laughs at me when I’m driving on surface streets. I have bad light karma. I don’t know what I did, or when I did it, but at some point I clearly offended a deity with specific jurisdiction over traffic signals.

I could see nothing but green lights stretching to the edge of the horizon — a perfect, open corridor of go — and then, as if something in the universe noticed I was feeling optimistic about it, every single one flips red. Every. Single. Time.

The switch is immediate. It’s almost impressive. It is not random. It is personal.

My family finds this hilarious. I have accepted my fate. I’m working on an appropriate offering to appease whatever traffic god I’ve managed to alienate. A tire, maybe. Some motor oil. I’ll figure it out when I get home — assuming I make the lights.

Change green!!!!